Recent Posts

Let Them Fly

Let Them Fly

Meditation & Practicing Mindfulness while sitting by the beach.

Lying in Isolation

Lying in Isolation

Anyone out there ready to raid the beach?? Envision all out glamping for a week! Bikinis, Books & Bourbon. Meditation under a Mango Tree wonderful but doesn’t come close to a beach meditation. Maybe it’s the voice inside my head that keeps repeating “watch out…

Cuddle Time- No Vacancy

Cuddle Time- No Vacancy

This post is for all the extreme people pleasers who have rock bottom self-esteem. The ones who are deeply saddened to go to bed alone. Just recently was introduced to the concept of Co-dependency. Which is shocking because I’ve been doing it for the past 16 years! One of my best realizations during quarantine. Wiki version is a psychological condition involving excessive emotional dependence on another person. Mine didn’t originate from a childhood event just crappy marriages to two police officers (these days I run in opposite direction when I see a man in uniform). Technique I used to analyze this discovery involved Mindhacking by Metathinking. If you’ve gone from one relationship immediately to another keep reading.

Never in my life have I had an addiction to drugs, alcohol or porn (yes, I will admit my viewing tendencies have increased since COVID-19). I did however have an addiction to people. Sought the desire to be needed. Prior to mind hacking my “mind movie (habitual thoughts that appear out of nowhere)” constantly replayed scenes from the past. Reliving the great memories that eventually turned into pain and regret. Always getting caught up in the content. Especially during mental downtime (showers, bedtime and driving). One movie clip on repeat included BBQ’s on Sunday constantly catering to the needs of my husband & his friends. Always on the move to keep the other person happy. Knowing by the end of the evening things would drastically change depending on the amount of alcohol consumed. Optimistic that if I continue giving, the relationship will improve. Not the best of scenes to replay.

Hello Superuser Mode…. becoming conscious of when you’re in control of your mind. Having the ability to recognize those habitual thoughts. Taking a step back and observing your mind movie. This I was able to start doing during isolation.

Then this truly amazing thing called Metathinking occurred. The ability to start thinking about my thinking. No wonder my last 16 years have left deep pains because my thoughts drove my emotions and actions. Jumping from one man to another I started questioning why did I seek another immediately? I was co-dependent. Self-abandonment and never expressing my wants. I searched for men who needed me because I lost who I was.

So I’m on a vacation from relationships. Accepting that it’s ok to be alone. Time to do things in my life I want to do. Sense a Manifestation post will follow. If you are interested in learning more about Mindhacking email me friendlypiscean@gmail.com. Sorry fellas only thing I’m spooning for remaining 2020 are my fluffy pillows!

Breaking The Wall Down

Breaking The Wall Down

Lost, scared and confused during quarantine. “Who are you” has been a question I’m unable to answer these days. Superficial descriptions like “I’m a woman” and “I’m a brunette” are not what I’m referring to. Heck even “I make masks during Covid-19 to donate” don’t…

Meet the Boss Beaver

Meet the Boss Beaver

Beavertown is a blog for those wanting to disrupt the norm. Who don’t want to go at it alone. Getting personal by sharing dreams, dark secrets, mindfulness techniques and heck even traumatic past relationships. Let’s create the possibility of living in the present. Urban Dictionary…

Aftermath of the Holidays- The Unwanted Trees

Aftermath of the Holidays- The Unwanted Trees

How do companies dispose of unwanted trees? While driving to visit friends and family on Christmas Day I looked over at an abandoned Christmas Tree Tent. Massive piles of beautiful tall trees stacked on the ground awaiting their final fate. The unlucky ones not even picked last on the team. Icons of the holiday turned into mulch, thrown into water (aka manmade canal fish reefs) or possibly snuck off in the middle night for teenagers bonfires. Ever watch a Christmas tree go up in flames? Don’t blink haha.

Just to think some families go all Holiday season without a tree because they can’t afford it. I myself hustled for a tree this year due to higher than normal tree prices in sunny South Florida. Now that I type this out makes me wonder why do Floridians buy Christmas trees and not just decorate Palm trees. What can I say I’m a sucker for traditions. For that reason I marched in boss bitch ready with cash in hand. “I got $60. Give me your biggest ugliest tree”. Walked out with this beautiful 9′ for only $60 (Pay no attention to her complete backside missing). She’s the prettiest Charlie Brown tree I’ve ever owned. Possibly even my favorite of all time just because of the execution in buying her. If you need hustling pointers let me know.

As a result of witnessing these discarded trees, during Holiday season 2020 we could start a #savethetrees Champaign. Local trucks drive to Christmas Tree Tents on Christmas Eve. Rescue all those beauties and give them to families in need. Here you go kids….presents and a fresh tree from Santa! I for one seriously thought about stopping and getting another one as driving past not one but THREE abandoned piles. Twinkle the Elfs last stunt before returning to the North Pole.